Pierce my Heart, oh Shard of Ice
by Nanami Uzuki
Summary: Namryth is Ulfric Stormcloak's finest warrior. Her only flaw is PTSD from back when she got mixed up with the Dark Brotherhood. She must help finish the war, take care of two daughters, and now deal with a man known as "Ice Shard." OCxIce. Rated T for language. Some may appear ooc, for which I apologize. Enjoy!
1. The Rift

My lungs burned and my legs were incredibly sore, slowly becoming numb as I ran. "Dammit!" I said to myself. The Riften Guard was on my tail, and I couldn't find any way to hide myself. I dashed down a flight of stairs. If I could just make it to the Ratway... "Stop! Thief!" One of the guards, a female Nord shouted. I kept running. Just a few more paces... Almost there... My fingers wrapped around the handle and ripped the door to the Ratway open. The air was drafty and damp, kinda smelling like stale blood and mold. I loved it. I walked down a few paths, kicking skeever bones aside and hopping over puddles by the dim torchlight until I made my way into the Flagon, where Vex was waiting for me. "Steal something worth talking about?" She said snidely. I caught my breath and showed her a shiny gold vase that I had stolen from Mjoll the Lioness. "Ah, good job." She said, eyeing it over. "Here's your share of the coin. Now get out of here." 300 gold was tossed into my hand. "Only three hundred?" I grumbled crossly, turning the coin over in my hands. "This isn't what we agreed on, Vexie." Vex sneered. "Times are tough. I don't have any more coin right now. I'll get you back in two days." I muttered obscene words under my breath and made my way to the Cistern. I walked over to the Alchemy Table, but Vipir the Fleet was telling a story to another guild member. All of us had heard all of his made-up stories. "Out of the way Vipir," I hissed, shoving him into the other guild mate. "Ey! What's your problem?!" He shouted. "Nothing!" I growled. "You're just in my way!" "Ey lass, what's all the commotion?" I heard a soft, tender voice ask as a hand was placed on my shoulder. My whole body relaxed. Brynjolf had that effect on me- just the immediate calm. "Tell your protege to keep her cool!" Vipir muttered, dusting himself off an stalking away. I grumbled more under my breath. "What's wrong lass? You can tell me anything." I rubbed my knuckles against my eyes. "I've just... Been... So... Stressed." He nodded in understanding. "I heard you got pulled into that Dark Brotherhood stuff." "I didn't have a choice!" I sobbed, crumbling to the floor as horrible, horrible memories came back. Killing three innocent people when Astrid was the real contract, that stupid Jester Cicero, watching the sanctuary burn and my family murdered by the empire, sharing a coffin with that desecrated corpse called Night Mother, listening to Astrid ask me to kill her, and then I had to kill the emperor... Let me tell you that he didn't make it easy on me either. He was nice to me. I took much pleasure in killing the man who started the whole chain of event. But that was the only murder I enjoyed. "I know," he cooed, stroking my black hair. "But you're home now. You don't have to worry about any of them any more." I could feel my body start to shake in small tremors. Within minutes, I would be crying. "Brynjolf, I'm going to head home for today." I said disappointedly. He smiled. "That's fine, lass. You deserve the rest." I hurried out of the Cistern through the secret exit. The guards paid no mind to me, having forgotten. I wasn't even in the mood to pickpocket random strangers as I departed the city and hurried to the stables. My daughters were at home in Whiterun, waiting for me. I missed them horribly. "Hey! Wait!" I heard someone call, so I turned. A guard was rushing towards me frantically. Nervous sweat broke over my brow. "I know you!" I buried my face in my hood. "No... You're making a mistake..." "There's no mistaking it. You're a wanted woman, and it's time... You pay..." I snapped my fingers. "Hey. You okay?" "I, erm, yeah." "Anyway," I huffed. "I am the Jarl's thane. I demand you to release me at once." "Oh!" He yelped. "I'm sorry Thane. I didn't recognize you." I pulled down my hood to see which guard I was talking to, but I couldn't see his face through his helmet. "Remove your helmet, guard." I ordered. Without question, he did as I asked. The guard was a Nord, as most of them are, with fine black hair like mine but eyes with irises so clear that they reminded me of the snow on the Throat of the World. "Thank you." I said. "Is there anything you need, my Thane?" "Um, no, thank you..." I awkwardly scratched the back of my head. Most of the guard would've just bid me farewell and gone back to their duties. "Then I suppose I'll be off." He turned on his heel. I paid the cart driver the correct amount of Septims and we took off. When I looked back, I could see the guard was still looking at me. I wondered what he was thinking about. ~~~


	2. A Visit to Home

2 Sophie and Runa were so happy to see me when I got home. "Mama! Mama! Did you get us a present?" Runa asked eagerly. I dug around in my satchel, then pretended to find nothing. Their faces turned disappointed, but then immediately brightened when I pulled out two brand-new dolls. They both screeched, then raced to their room to go play. "They've both eaten already," Lydia informed me, approaching from the stairs. "I apologize, my Thane. Had I realized you were coming home tonight, I would've waited." "It's okay Lydia," I assured her. "I can fend for myself." "May I ask you something?" "Of course," I scoffed. "You're my right-hand man." Ask away." "Why do you keep your children here, instead of with you at your house in Riften?" "That's a stupid question!" I snapped. "Riften is no place for children! I don't even know why the orphanage is there! It's corrupted! And I can't believe I work there!" Her expression didn't change. "Do you plan on one day just settling down? Possibly getting married to a nice person, and just focus on raising Runa and Sophie?" I wrinkled my nose in disgust. "No marriage for me. I don't want to be one of those guards." I changed my accent to imitate them. "I used to be an adventurer like you, until I took an arrow in the knee." Lydia chuckled at my impersonation. "But perhaps one day I'll buy a manor, and move the family in there once I've got it all built." "What about Hjerim? I've always thought that was a nice place." Ah, Hjerim. The house of murder. But it's because of that house I also met Sophie. Before I adopted Runa, Lydia and I used to go everywhere together. She helped me defeat the World-Eater the first time, before he disappeared into his realm of Sovngarde. After I defeated him for good, she and I traveled a lot. We found ourselves in Windhelm eventually, and solved a murder. The case was called "Blood on the Ice." Just as we were loading up on potions and supplies, we ran into a little girl selling flowers. Both of her parents were dead, and I felt so bad for her. She had no roof over her head, and with all the snow she would've been dead within days. Her fingers and lips and nose were all blue. We spoke, and I decided to adopt her. "Do you have somewhere I can stay?" She asked shyly. "Yes, I have a home in Whiterun that you can stay in... But... I'm rarely ever home, who will watch you?" Nobody spoke for a few minutes. Depression swept over Sophie's face again, and then Lydia spoke up. "I am sworn to carry your burdens." I whipped around, eyes wide with surprise. "Lydia, you mean..." "Yes. I will stay home with Sophie until you find a spouse." And from that day on, Lydia has stayed home, and Sophie had a home. She was such a sweetheart. "Hjerim is a cursed house." I told her. "Nice and spacey, but cursed." "I understand." She sighed. "That's probably not the best anyways, what with the war going on." "The war is almost over, actually." I commented. "We are liberating Haafingar next month, as soon as we get more steel for the soldiers. Will you be joining me, Lydia? I will pay for them to stay in the Bannered Mare." Her eyes glistened with the thought of an adventure. "I would be honored, my Thane." We spoke some more of the war, how we hated the Thalmor and the empire, and I made sure to especially point out how much I despised Maven Black-Briar, the Imperial jarl of Riften. She was on good terms with the Thieve's Guild, however, which satisfied Bryjolf. But I became the Thane of Riften under the influence of Jarl Laila, so she held a special place in my heart. "I ran into a strange guard today." I said out of nowhere. "Oh? What was strange about him?" "He... Talked to me longer than normal. Kept losing track of his sentences. I asked him to remove his helm..." "And?" "And he was a fairly attractive Nordic male." "The Rift is under Imperial law now." Lydia said. "You are a Stormcloak, true to Talos. Don't forget that. I'm sure nothing will come of whatever he thinks of you." I sighed, trying to keep disappointment out of my tone. "I suppose you're right, Lydia." She yawned and stretched. "Well, I think I'll be going to bed now." I nodded. "Same as I. I'm traveling back to the Rift tomorrow." "Talos guide you, Thane." "Mara's blessing upon you." When she was upstairs, I traveled past the kitchen of my home to my daughters' room, where they were both fast asleep. Runa's fair hair was in her eyes slightly, so I brushed them out of the way and kissed her forehead. Then I turned to Sofie and tucked her in a little tighter. Just as I turned to leave, I heard her small voice. "Mama?" I looked back to her. "Yes, my Sofie?" "I heard you're going to fight in the war again next month." I took a deep breath. My children worried about me constantly. "Yes. But I'll be okay. I promise. Nothing is going to happen to me." "Promise?" "I promise." "Do you think... After the war is over, we could meet Mr. Stormcloak?" I smiled broadly. "Yes. I'm sure Ulfric would love to meet my family." Then I went up to my small room, directly across from Lydia's, curled up in a ball on the bed after disposing of my armor and weapons, and fell into a nightmare filled sleep. I could hear Cicero laughing at me and mocking me as I traveled through the cavern that he stayed in, and was slowly bleeding to death. The closer I got to him, the more he let fear crept in his voice. He was bleeding out. I was almost sure he would've been dead by the time I made it to him. But I was wrong. I was far from wrong. He tried to convince me to let him go... But I couldn't. After what he did... There was no way. His face flashed in my eyes. That insane, plastic smile. Eyes that went every which direction and never blinked. And his laugh, oh my god his cackling, maniacal laughter filled my ears and every part of my head. I woke up with my fist in my mouth, knuckles bleeding. I had bitten my hand to silence a scream. That's when I knew I needed to get out of the house. I needed to drink. I had a variety of alcohols in my cupboard, but I needed to walk. I needed to go somewhere. Temple of Arkay? No. The priestess would not like me drinking there. The only other option I had was the Bannered Mare, where Ysolda would hook me up with the good stuff. I was her favorite customer. Because not only did I help get her to where she is, but she had something of a fancy for me. I first met her on my way to see Jarl Balgruuf to report sightings of a dragon at Helgen. She was walking down the stairs... And I thought she was the most beautiful thing to have walked the planet. I was infatuated. I tried so hard to get her to talk to me, but she was awfully good at playing Hard to Get. Then one day, after a long time of hunting with Ralof, I traveled back to Whiterun. She was speaking to the Khajiit, and they were asking for one mammoth tusk. I knew then what I had to do. Killing that damned mammoth and all of the giants with then damn near got me killed. I thought that now, she would have to like and notice me. I had even looted an amulet of Mara off of a dead bandit. But when I got back, blood leaking into my right eye and not one, but three mammoth tusks in my left hand... She just smiled and thanked me. Some time later, since I had long forgotten about her, I was passing through Whiterun to deliver a message to the Jarl and passed by her in the market. Alduin was long dead. I was known as a hero. One that she turned down. "Oh, Namryth!" She said with excitement. "I missed you! Where have you been? I hear you killed the World-Eater?" I smiled gently. "Yes, I did. And you own the Bannered Manner now, is what everyone is saying. Selling a specialty mead with Jazzabay Grapes." "Ah yes," her smile was brighter than the light of my Dawnbreaker. "I worked on the recipe for years." I finally looked her in the eyes, and that's when she got the hint that my heart was no longer in favor of her. Her smile faded slowly, and then vacant only a sad curve. "I'm happy for you, Ysolda." I said. She turned and left. Not another word. I didn't try to chase after her, either.


	3. Ice Shard

"Namryth! Hi!" Ysolda cheered when I walked through the door. It was about two in the morning, so everyone was in bed. The fire continued to burn warmly, the crackling sound filling up the silence. "I had a feeling you'd be stopping by, so I kept shop open." I smiled, choosing a stool in front of the bar. She looked just as pretty as ever. "Thank you, Ysolda. Mind getting me some ale with the grapes?" "But of course. Now let me see here..." She turned to a mead barrel and rummaged through it, trying to find a full one among the empty. It must really be as good as people say. When she found a full one, she slammed it on the table in front of me. "Drink up!" I uncorked the bottle, which used to be from Honningbrew meadery according to the label, and took a massive swig. It tasted bitter and watery with a strong, sickly sweet taste at first, then set fire to my insides as I swallowed. I nodded in satisfaction. "So what's with the sudden urge for alcohol?" I sighed and told her the honest truth. "I'm going to war next week. Not only will I be fighting against all of the Haafingar Imperials, but something tells me that Legate Rikke isn't going to surrender, and Ulfric will take no mercy on General Tullius." She listened and nodded as she wiped down the counter. "From what you have told me, Ulfric isn't a very forgiving man." "That he isn't," I chuckled. "I'm not ready." "Yes you are." She corrected me sternly. "You were born for battle. You'll do fine out there, and you'll come back safely." "Thank you, Ysolda, I needed that." Her green eyes glistened at my gratitude. "You're welcome. Any time you need anything, I'm here." Soon after, I headed home with a groggy head and went back to bed. The next morning I sat at the kitchen table and wrote a quick letter to Brynjolf saying that because of the war I wouldn't be showing up for about three weeks. Then I hailed down a courier and asked him to deliver it. The weather that day was depressing, just like everyone's attitude. I could hear shop keepers mumbling under their breath about the Stormcloaks, some even passing me a dirty look. The people of Whiterun didn't enjoy the Stormcloaks being the new guards. Adrianne's steel output went down drastically because they all bought their swords and armor from Eorlund Gray-Mane from the Companions guild. Nobody bought potions from Arcadia for fear that she would poison it. She was an Imperial from Cyrodiil, after all. It couldn't be helped. As much as they didn't like the Stormcloaks, we needed them. Ever since the Empire started taking it up the ass from the Thalmor out of utter desperation, everything went down hill. The ban of Talos worshipping was the worst, and that's why I fought against them. Soon, it would be over. ~The Fredas Before the war~ Sophie and Runa were crying, hanging onto my armor, begging me not to go. They were terrified. Sophie was pulling so hard that my ebony gauntlet slipped off my hand. "Both of you need to stop this nonsense right now." I said sternly, then kneeled down to their level. "I will be fine. I promise. I've liberated Whiterun, the Rift, Morthal, what's one last battle going to do?" They wiped their tears on their sleeves. "Please don't let anything happen." Runa whined. "You promised you'd take us to see Mister Stormcloak." Sophie piped up, face still red but finally not crying. "Yes. I did promise that, and I intend to keep it." They both hugged me one more time. I waited to see if they would say "I love you," but as normal they didn't. When I reached the stables, I thought about the best way to travel. The clouds hadn't let up at all over the week, and I knew I'd get stuck in the rain if I traveled by foot or horse. I only had one other option, and I knew he wouldn't be happy about it. I made sure no one was near me for fear I could hurt them. The stable master was busy with the feeding, and the assistant was distracted with sweeping. Knowing it was safe, I let a power build up in my chest until I could feel it choking me, then let it out in a loud roar that was equivalent to the sound of thunder. "OD AH VIING!" Then I waited for a few minutes until I could see a large red dragon circling overhead. Another Thu'um was building up, one the would bring Odahviing to the ground. He wouldn't talk to me any other way. Aimed right at him, the shout was released with ten times the volume of the other. "JOOR-ZAH FRUL!" A blue aura captivated the large dragon's wings, and he came to the ground. "Dovakiin!" He bellowed with anger as I sprinted in his direction. "Why do you call upon me, and then trap me like a beast?!" "Because you won't listen to me any other way. I need a ride to Eastmarch." He laughed mockingly. "You disgrace me in such a way, and then ask for my assistance?!" He laughed again. "Don't be such a fool." "I beat the World-Eater." I reminded him. "You and all other dovah who doubted Alduin's power are in my debt." His nostrils flared, hot air rushing by and blowing my hair back. "We do not speak of this to anyone." I rolled my eyes and mumbled "But of course." ~12 hours later~ It was snowing in Eastmarch. It was always snowing in Eastmarch. The cold air turned my lips blue, and after five minutes I couldn't feel my finger tips through my armor. But I gritted my teeth. I could show no sign of weakness. I marched right up to the Palace of Kings, pushed through the door, and was greeted by a table full of people including Ulfric, Galmar, Ulfric's steward, Jarl Laila and Anuriel, and several other popular heads of the rebellion. The hall was warm, so I removed my helm. Immediately, I could feel my nose again. "Snow-Hammer!" Ulfric said, then stood. I removed my helm and smiled at him. We exchanged a quick, manly one-armed hug. "I was starting to think you would skip the pre-war feast! Please, come, I have a seat for you by my left." I followed him back to his seat at the table and sat to his left. To MY left, was a familiar face... Fine black hair, snowy irises, a very strongly structured face... The only thing missing was the Imperial Armor. "Hello, Snow-Hammer," he said to me. "It's nice to see you again." His smile was beautiful, and put Ysolda's to shame. I felt blood rushing to my head, but then remember to keep my cool and it all went back down. He knew I was with the guild. If it got to Ulfric, he would have me thrown away the minute he caught me stealing again. Even the excuse of "I'm thane, I do what I want," could only go so far. "I saw you in Riften, as an Imperial. What are you doing here?" I scowled. His eyebrows jumped and his mouth curved into a smirk. Ulfric spoke up for him. "Namryth, this is Ice Shard. He's our spy." "But you're special. You can call me Ice." He winked at me. How incredibly disrespectful! Ulfric found Ice's joke hysterical. "Oh calm down, he's giving you a compliment." "I have no care for his compliments." I seethed. "I have no care for his affections or anything of him." "You didn't seem that way when I stopped you in Riften." Was that a slight mocking tone I heard in his voice? My knuckles itched. "Riften?" Ulfric repeated. "What wrong could she have been doing in Riften?" "Nothing, my Lord!" I yelled, then growled at Ice. What was this fool thinking?! "Being too attractive," Ice continued, smirk growing. I hated his arrogance. "Both of you, stop." Jarl Laila said. "Just enjoy the food. Can we not all get along?" "You're right Laila," Ulfric added. "Ice Shard, Snow-Hammer, see my in my quarters after dinner." "Yes, my lord." Everyone ate in silence, savoring the delicious venison the chef had prepared for us. Ice nudged my leg with his foot occasionally, but I ignored him. The seventeenth time he nudged me, I flared my nostrils and struck up a conversation with Ulfric. "So, my Lord, my daughters were wondering if they could meet you before the moot to make you High King." He dabbed at his mouth with a napkin. "Of course. Anything for my finest warrior. I bet when they grow up, they'll be as strong and powerful as you, even without the Thu'um. Are they yours by blood?" I shook my head. "I adopted Sophie off of the streets, and Runa from Honorhall orphanage." "Mmm!" He mumbled conclusively. "I remember Sophie. That poor girl. I wish there was something I could've done for her, but I'm glad someone like you came along." "Must be difficult on your children to have you away from home for so long." The mocking tone was missing from Ice's voice this time. The look on his face was completely neutral. "It is hard on them," I confessed. "But I try to stay around home as much as possible." "Don't they have a father, or another mother to watch them while you're away?" I shook my head. "Lydia, my Housecarl, watches them while I'm away. She'll be joining us in Solitude on Sundas." "And your daughters?" Ice pursued. "Will be staying at the nearby inn. I'm friends with the owner." The rest of the meal passed in silence. Once everyone was finished, they hurried off to bed. Except Ulfric, Ice and I. We all went to Ulfric's quarters. "Ice, Snow Hammer," he began in his deep, stern voice. "You are both two of my strongest warriors. If you can't find a way to tolerate each other, then I will have no choice but to demote both of you." "He was kicking me under the table all through dinner!" I fumed. "And I kept my temper! No matter how much I wanted to bash his skull! Don't I get a little bit of credit for that?!" Ice laughed at me. "I never touched you! You kept glaring at me and making me feel uncomfortable!" I couldn't take it anymore. I turned to him, pressure already building up inside my, looking for an escape. I could tell my face was getting red. I began to shout. "FUS..." "Namryth! No! Don't!" Ulfric cried out. "RO DAH!" Ice was sent flying back into a stone wall. I felt so much better. "Ice Shard! Are you okay?" Ulfric ran to him, checking his bones to make sure none were broken. He stood up, perfectly fine, just as I expected. I knew how much damage the Fus could do, and I knew how to limit it. "Okay. New rules for both of you. Ice, don't touch her. Namryth, don't look at him. Do I make myself clear?" "Yes, sir." We saluted at the same time. "Good. When the war is over, you can bicker as much as you please. Now go! Both of you! We have a long day ahead tomorrow." Walking down the hallway, I watched Ice smirk at me from the corner of his eyes. "That's an awfully strong Thu'um you have." He said. I ignored him. "Are you going to answer me?" "No." "But you just did." "Damn you to Oblivion, Ice!" I roared. "Leave me alone!" He sighed, facial expression becoming serious. "Snow-Hammer, I'm not trying to annoy you. That really isn't my intention. It never has been." Something about his tone seemed sincere. We stopped in the empty hallway. I decided to listen. "Then what is your intention?" "I know about you." He said. "About your history. How Brynjolf took you in and trained you. Then how you got wrapped up in the Dark Brotherhood..." My blood froze in my veins. My fists balled up, and I hit him in his beautiful face. I regretted it immediately. I didn't want to hit him... But I couldn't believe he knew about the Dark Brotherhood and my interaction with it. I didn't want to be reminded of it. I knew immediately his face was going to bruise. I felt like a beast. "I'm sorry-" I tried to choke out, but an attack took over. My chest seized. I lost the ability to breathe and my legs crippled beneath me. I've quickly dropped to catch me before I hit the floor. Faces flashed before my eyes, stopping at Astrid's burnt, emaciated body. Blisters covered every part of her, causing my gag reflex to go into overdrive. I didn't want to see this anymore! I clawed furiously at my eyes, trying to scratch them out, but someone restrained my hands behind me. "What's wrong with her, Ice?!" Ulfric bellowed. I could somehow hear him through my own shrieks. "She's have a post traumatic stress disorder attack." Ice informed him. "Snow Hammer, calm down, you're okay, you're safe," Ulfric cooed softly. Fire! Fire! Couldn't these damned idiots see the fire?! "Arnbjorn is right there fighting the Imperials! WHY ARE YOU GUYS HELPING HIM?! HE'S TOO OUT NUMBERED!" I fought against them desperately, trying to break free. I had to help him! Someone had to help him or he would- The werewolf fell down before my eyes, head decapitated. Veezara, already weak from being stabbed by Cicero, yelled out to him, but then he, too, fell. They were both dead. And there wasn't anything I could do. My sights returned to the present. Ice had passed me to Ulfric, who was cradling me like a child. Ice's face was already bruising. "Oh Gods, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-" my throat choked again. "It's okay." He said. "How are you feeling?" My eyes burned. "Sad." Ulfric picked me up and began carrying me to a spare room. "Ice, go put some snow on that bruise. Come, Snow-Hammer, it's been a long night for you." I curled into him. "Ulfric, I'm so sorry." "It's fine, Snow-Hammer. It isn't your fault that those damned Imperials did that. Just remember what they did when we go to fight on Sundas." I nodded, and remembered nothing afterwards.


End file.
